Lectures from Parents, Lectures from God

My sisters and I agree – you make Dad angry once, and you’ll never do it again. I faced my father’s wrath for mouthing off to my mother in front of him. Not that I didn’t ever mouth off to Mom again – there was just enough venom in my voice to set him off. My father is most consistent in his calmness, so to see him shed that trait was to experience a terrifying moment. Not that he injured me; there was no bodily harm. Nor did he abuse me verbally. He just revealed to me, in no uncertain terms, where I stood and where he stood. And my place was dwarfed, eclipsed, by his authority.

On the other hand, my sisters and I made Mom angry often over the course of our childhood, and especially during our teenage years. Mom was the daily disciplinarian. Over the years, Dad shaped our behavior and worldview by quiet example; Mom taught us our lessons and corrected us in real time, as things transpired.

My sisters and I probably agree on something else – if Mom was shouting, visibly angry about something we’d done, things were gonna be ok. We’d get our punishment, always swift and fair, and things would move along. But if Mom was measured, calm, sitting down with us quietly to discuss our crime, THAT’s when we were in BIG trouble. Something was going to change and we could be certain that it wouldn’t be the law of the household.

These were the moments when it was best for us to keep our mouths shut and listen. We had to discern which questions needed answers and which questions were rhetorical. If we couldn’t provide answers to the real questions, the silence was deafening and revealing. If we tried to answer the rhetorical questions, it invariably turned out to be a smart-ass quip - NOT good for our current situation. I think what was most significant about these moments was the lack of punitive declaration. I remember squirming in my chair thinking, “just ground me for the week and let me go,” but that wasn’t Mom’s intention. Her intention was to cause me to confront what was in my heart. She meant to bring my sophomoric flaws to light so I could examine them fully. And that was far worse than having any phone, car, or social privileges taken from me. These were also the moments when I would repent of my crime, either immediately or later – usually later. And when you’re 16 years old, there’s nothing worse than the realization that Mom was right, and the need to approach her and admit that you understand her position, that she is right, that you are sorry.

I think of these things because I read the end of the book of Job this morning. After Job loses everything – and I mean EVERTHING – with the exception of his life, he pities himself. Now, that’s perhaps an understandable reaction. But then he questions God’s wisdom. And perhaps THAT’s an understandable reaction too…but then, who is Job (or who are we) to question the ordinance of God? God’s reaction to Job’s despair was profoundly gracious. God could have shown us all what becomes of those who question His will. He could have righteously and severely punished Job. But what God did was amazing – He caused Job to search his own wisdom. And upon reading these chapters I found God’s method very familiar. God asked Job those rhetorical questions that illustrated Job’s foolishness. And Job did the right thing: he shut his mouth. He listened while God calmly but sternly pointed to His own authority, dwarfing, eclipsing Job’s. God lovingly led Job to examine his heart, and Job, having gained the proper perspective, repented.

God plays many roles in our lives, and there are many metaphors for these roles. I have said many times that “Our Heavenly Father” is perhaps one of my favorites, because it gives such insight. The parental aspect of His authority and guidance gives us beautiful clues as to who we are supposed to be, as children, as parents, as siblings. I listened to chapters 38-42 of Job online (click link at bottom of page), and I have to say, I squirmed in my seat. I was trying to follow along with the text on the screen, but I found myself lowering my eyes, humbled by the stern words of the Scripture. I realized that Job wasn’t alone in receiving this lecture from the Heavenly Father. Centuries later, I received the lecture with him, as if I was his accomplice. And I guess I am; I share this sin with Job. I question God’s judgment, even his motives. And I do much worse than that on a daily basis. The conviction that Scripture offers us, when Scripture is read in faith and with humility, causes us to deeply examine our motives and be changed for the glory of Christ.

Job 38-42